"A Girl Is Being Nurtured In The Irony Of Fate"
“The revolution will come with the women’s voice”
At a time when women’s rights are threatened around the world, Pakistan is ranked as one of the most dangerous countries for women.
According to a report released by the UN on international women’s day, Pakistan tops the list of countries holding prejudice against women the report states that at least 99.81 of the population holds at least one sexist bias. Pakistan is considered the sixth most dangerous country in terms of women's rights violations in the world.
"A brother stabbed his sister five times and killed her mercilessly. He confessed that he killed her because she was talking to a boy"
"Husband and her mother-in-law tortured her and shaved her head before kicking her out"
"A girl was burned alive by order of a Jirga"
"Women are only for amusement to man"
Despite the risk, women are seeking freedom women are putting their lives on the line of fighting oppression and demanding equal rights.
In this society asking the girl about her marriage is considered to defect girls don't possess the right to decide on their future, and they don't right have to go against the selection made by the male. Interference of female in male's recommendation, a decision considered to be disobedience. The first injustice that takes place is when a girl refuses to marry someone neither her refusal nor her choice is given any importance. And this is a very common event, everywhere, mostly countryside. If any girl doesn't like a boy or that relative's home and she refuses those Alliances (Relatedness), non will give any importance to her refusal. Get ignorance of her refusal. And daunt her to be calm. That girl's talk is postponed. This is a very common thing that the marriage of child with, arranged in his childhood until the children reach the age of marriage, they are not allowed to smell of their marriage fixation with. Who is their relationship with?
These incidents are very common in the Hindu community like Kolhi, Bheel, Rebari et cetera these people arrange their marriages at an early age even groom and bride don't aware of, that with whom her/his marriage going to take place. Their relationships are settled by their elders in their childhood and sometimes and happen like this that girl’s marriages are arranged the double aged man of her. At this age, girls don't have any understanding of anything they are unaware of traditions and customs, and on their mistakes, their family-in-law start infraction by saying that this girl doesn't have moral, don't have sense.
Their childhood growing somewhere still in a corner of their heart. Think and wish that I could have a better childhood. but haven't happened. On her wedding day didn't know what was going on, she was just excited about her wedding dress
As she was being whisked away, she said to them, "Now that I have sat in the car I should go back home right? What am I doing here? Whose house am I going to? This isn't my house, my house is back. She might think someone had stolen her toys, it feels like all her tore had been stolen as that her childhood was lost.
In rare it happens like that due to marrying in insufficient age they don't get a baby. Some years later many of them are awarded a pleasure of a child. She doesn't know what happens to her but she is happy with a child, thinking that God has bestowed her new toy. One to two it feels like she got everything and got that happiness forever. But as time passes, her-in-law and her mother-in-law's behaviour changes. for 20 years, she put up with all sorts of abuse and she felt imprisoned every moment and then it become increasingly intolerable. The husband thinks that he does everything; the wife does do not anything all day. By saying that he targets her with many kinds of violence and taunts her on everything. Even though we can see that she get more physical and mental disturbance in her life than her husband. Caring child, looking after cattle( if have), washing pots two times a day, washing clothes of the whole family, sweepings, cleaning and helping her husband in every work that she can. Half of Pakistan and the world's women work in different places for her family livings I used to go that to Thar (kaajer) passing bricks Kelin (bricks company ) I have seen women work more than men for her family living all the day, having no much income to buy new clothes they are in rags. Still, the husband says to her what the hell do you do all day?
Domestic violence
Domestic violence is a topic that has been hotly debated to date. This is a topic that has been around for centuries. When we talk about domestic violence, it includes domestic women also included men. There is a psychological disease. In our society, it is a bad habit to speak badly immorally, to be cruel to her and violate physically and it is understood that we are doing a great thing. And this is promoted to boldness. Saying that we are strong men because we keep pressing the women in our house. But it is very wrong and erroneous to do all this, the woman is not a father's servant of any.
with whom you want to as you want, beat her badly. Never. Remember that she is your wife, not a maid or slave. Equal to out at home. She has left her parent's house and come to suffer your oppression? No.
In 2016, the Punjab government made a law, the Punjab Protection Of Women Against Violence Act. It states that if a woman is violated and if she wants to go to court under section 4-12 if she calls on given numbers of that team then women protection officers will come to the doorsteps and will look into things and protect that woman. And Punjab has launched that application, Punjab safe Cities Authority. And women can protect themselves through it. If women are tortured physically in that kind of violation, Pakistan Penal Code (PPC) section 332, 333, 334-36, L1, L2. will be related to the violation that how much violated either slapped or injured her.
These laws are implemented and their sentences will be from 2,3 months to 25th years imprisonment. It depends on the extent to which type they have been subjected to torture. 506 PPC if death threats are made. BUT it usually happens like this that women endure all and live their lives in the suffering but don't get a divorce, thinking that may I have some rest and peaceful life after children have grown up. Some women who raise their hands after suffering a lot eventually get a divorce. In our society divorced women, those who get a divorce are often targeted by society in different perceptions and make it hard to live their lives. women who get a divorce, their remarriages often happen with the old man (double aged ). in rare cases it happens that she has seemed to be comfortable. some times it is like this, that widows or divorced woman's remarriage become more severe than earlier. her husband and mother-in-law taunt her on everything, every mistake, that you have killed/humiliated/eaten your ex-husband or made his life so hard. now what the hell you come to do here to us. in rare cases, their remarriages often become a comfortable zone, an example for others. I am not saying that in every first marriage she suffers from many difficulties. No! but in some cases, it happens. some women get poison to suicide or hang themselves, adopting that no one is willing to listen to us. there should be someone, who can speak on behalf of us, because if a woman feels ashamed or hesitant then she tends not to disclose her issue. there should be, but non is. some girls whose parents have died either in their childhood or in adult, daughters are often handed undertaking of paternal uncles and maternal uncles or aunties (father's sister). their uncles get them married once in a good or bad family. then if some matters arise with her and she is subjected to cruelty. No one takes notice of her talk, and become she disappointed considering an orphan. and spend his entire life with that. but some families-in-law leave her and she comes to live with her paternal/maternal parents. her aunt taunts her we are humiliated with you what did you come for. a few days later their relatives get bored and try to kick her out, and sometimes girls are targeted by their uncles and cousins, sexual harassed. girls leave relatives' houses by seeing a change in relatives' behaviours. but there is no any for them to take care of their children and her. in that case in hunger she walks out for earning slices of bread. sometimes she wonders far and far for the job but doesn't get a respectable job.
Sometimes those women get a job at a peaceful place. Sometimes women get jobs but in the wrong location where she considered a prostitute, Boss or owner of that institute or organization give her job for his sexual desire.
At some places boss harassed her, few women leave those jobs but a small number don't and bear all these forcibly and are compelled to do all this for her children. Some women couldn't get a job anywhere and become a prostitute to feed their children.
Nobody is a prostitute by birth, circumstances make her do it, poverty compels her to get into the dark. Their destiny is to become a prostitute
Male Dominant Society
Whenever a woman raises her voice, they accuse her of having an immoral character.
Women who raise their hands against male-dominant society are being warned or daunt/intimidate to take a step back. It has evolved to such an extent that nobody can challenge the decision of male Jirga. There is a misconception that women don't have leadership skills or we say that our women are oppressed and can't decide for themselves, so that is wrong, we shouldn't think that a woman is incapable of making decisions.
In 2013, women have announced the formation of the Khwendo Women'sJirga through the media against male violence with his wife. To show that we too have our Jirga one of the members told that the majority of cases they faced, have to do with the domestic violation.
"her-in-law beats her openly in the street, one day they tied her to a chair and whipped her"
it's like she has been imprisoned for the last two years.
Women went out to the old man and told him, join our Jirga they would say. "women aren't capable of running a Jirga". The tribal male elders ridiculed women and considered it as a joke, they said this drama will last a few days and that's it. The marriage of minors, rape, sexual aggression and human torture are common practices.
In 1990, Syeda Ghulam Fatima set up the bonded labour liberation front an organization that works to eradicate bonded and child labour in Pakistan over the past 27 years. Fatima estimated she has freed more than 80,000 slaves from-bonded labour.
This is a really strange concept to ensure that the slaves remain weak and can be bought and retained.
I have a story related to a girl from swat valley. That a girl is married off with a boy who later goes to Saudi Arabia for the job. The girl's father-in-law who was also her real uncle( blood relation) raped and abuses her multiple times for nine months. Her husband was working in Saudi Arabia at the time. When the girl tried to raise her voice to let relatives know of her ordeal.
The girl's mother-in-law told her husband "she humiliated you"
Kill her, she was locked in a room and stabbed with a knife 52times. She was 12 years old when she was married off.
Later on, women Jirga heard about her and brought her justice. Women Jirga got her a settlement of roughly 30-35 lac from her family-in-law.
She told that " initially my-in-laws were nice, but in the last four years, they began to change. In the last year, the beating began and I had a miscarriage. She got a divorce and had her father-in-law banished from the city.
There are quite a few cases that have a mark on one's heart and mind when you see what these young girls are put through, it makes you weep.
In the dominancy of man and violation of man, there was a movement, women become angry at the continuous attack on their rights. They were angry at the increasing harassment in the public spaces. They decided they needed a platform with a minimum program where they brought together the maximum number of voices.
On the 12th February 1983 Farida along with scores of other women carried out a historic march in Lahore. Police brutality was rife and several women were jailed for that march, but this didn't dampen their spirits and their activism. women started raising their hands against male dominant society named it "Women March" (Aurat March).
The earliest version was purportedly a "Women's Day" organized by the Socialist Party of America in New York City on February 28, 1909.
This is being celebrated every year in March by these slogans
“My body, my will”
"Why are you afraid of my self-determination?"
"Jab tak aurat tang rahay gi, jang rahay gi, jang rahay gi
"Keep your dick pics to yourself"
"If you like the headscarf so much, tie it around your eyes"
"Nazar teri gandi aur purdah mein keroun"
("Why must I wear a veil to keep you from ogling?")
The first march was held on 8 March 2018 in Karachi Pakistan.
Women marches for women's rights, violence, injustice. They protest for their lives to live free. Its often states that " a happy woman is always a lucky woman"
Lots of injustice with girls, girls are not allowed to go to school out the class five. They have to sit at home, if they have finished matric they aren't going to college. They can't study they can't work. I see this day and day out it just annoyed me that their parents are pleased to give preference to the boys and girls are looking at everybody's faces and hoping that she will get permission to do something on some days."A Girl Is Being Nurtured In The Irony Of Fate"
“The revolution will come with the women’s voice”
At a time when women’s rights are threatened around the world, Pakistan is ranked as one of the most dangerous countries for women.
According to a report released by the UN on international women’s day, Pakistan tops the list of countries holding prejudice against women the report states that at least 99.81 of the population holds at least one sexist bias. Pakistan is considered the sixth most dangerous country in terms of women's rights violations in the world.
"A brother stabbed his sister five times and killed her mercilessly. He confessed that he killed her because she was talking to a boy"
"Husband and her mother-in-law tortured her and shaved her head before kicking her out"
"A girl was burned alive by order of a Jirga"
"Women are only for amusement to man"
Despite the risk, women are seeking freedom women are putting their lives on the line of fighting oppression and demanding equal rights.
In this society asking the girl about her marriage is considered to defect girls don't possess the right to decide on their future, and they don't right have to go against the selection made by the male. Interference of female in male's recommendation, a decision considered to be disobedience. The first injustice that takes place is when a girl refuses to marry someone neither her refusal nor her choice is given any importance. And this is a very common event, everywhere, mostly countryside. If any girl doesn't like a boy or that relative's home and she refuses those Alliances (Relatedness), non will give any importance to her refusal. Get ignorance of her refusal. And daunt her to be calm. That girl's talk is postponed. This is a very common thing that the marriage of child with, arranged in his childhood until the children reach the age of marriage, they are not allowed to smell of their marriage fixation with. Who is their relationship with?
These incidents are very common in the Hindu community like Kolhi, Bheel, Rebari et cetera these people arrange their marriages at an early age even groom and bride don't aware of, that with whom her/his marriage going to take place. Their relationships are settled by their elders in their childhood and sometimes and happen like this that girl’s marriages are arranged the double aged man of her. At this age, girls don't have any understanding of anything they are unaware of traditions and customs, and on their mistakes, their family-in-law start infraction by saying that this girl doesn't have moral, don't have sense.
Their childhood growing somewhere still in a corner of their heart. Think and wish that I could have a better childhood. but haven't happened. On her wedding day didn't know what was going on, she was just excited about her wedding dress
As she was being whisked away, she said to them, "Now that I have sat in the car I should go back home right? What am I doing here? Whose house am I going to? This isn't my house, my house is back. She might think someone had stolen her toys, it feels like all her tore had been stolen as that her childhood was lost.
In rare it happens like that due to marrying in insufficient age they don't get a baby. Some years later many of them are awarded a pleasure of a child. She doesn't know what happens to her but she is happy with a child, thinking that God has bestowed her new toy. One to two it feels like she got everything and got that happiness forever. But as time passes, her-in-law and her mother-in-law's behaviour changes. for 20 years, she put up with all sorts of abuse and she felt imprisoned every moment and then it become increasingly intolerable. The husband thinks that he does everything; the wife does do not anything all day. By saying that he targets her with many kinds of violence and taunts her on everything. Even though we can see that she get more physical and mental disturbance in her life than her husband. Caring child, looking after cattle( if have), washing pots two times a day, washing clothes of the whole family, sweepings, cleaning and helping her husband in every work that she can. Half of Pakistan and the world's women work in different places for her family livings I used to go that to Thar (kaajer) passing bricks Kelin (bricks company ) I have seen women work more than men for her family living all the day, having no much income to buy new clothes they are in rags. Still, the husband says to her what the hell do you do all day?
Domestic violence
Domestic violence is a topic that has been hotly debated to date. This is a topic that has been around for centuries. When we talk about domestic violence, it includes domestic women also included men. There is a psychological disease. In our society, it is a bad habit to speak badly immorally, to be cruel to her and violate physically and it is understood that we are doing a great thing. And this is promoted to boldness. Saying that we are strong men because we keep pressing the women in our house. But it is very wrong and erroneous to do all this, the woman is not a father's servant of any.
with whom you want to as you want, beat her badly. Never. Remember that she is your wife, not a maid or slave. Equal to out at home. She has left her parent's house and come to suffer your oppression? No.
In 2016, the Punjab government made a law, the Punjab Protection Of Women Against Violence Act. It states that if a woman is violated and if she wants to go to court under section 4-12 if she calls on given numbers of that team then women protection officers will come to the doorsteps and will look into things and protect that woman. And Punjab has launched that application, Punjab safe Cities Authority. And women can protect themselves through it. If women are tortured physically in that kind of violation, Pakistan Penal Code (PPC) section 332, 333, 334-36, L1, L2. will be related to the violation that how much violated either slapped or injured her.
These laws are implemented and their sentences will be from 2,3 months to 25th years imprisonment. It depends on the extent to which type they have been subjected to torture. 506 PPC if death threats are made. BUT it usually happens like this that women endure all and live their lives in the suffering but don't get a divorce, thinking that may I have some rest and peaceful life after children have grown up. Some women who raise their hands after suffering a lot eventually get a divorce. In our society divorced women, those who get a divorce are often targeted by society in different perceptions and make it hard to live their lives. women who get a divorce, their remarriages often happen with the old man (double aged ). in rare cases it happens that she has seemed to be comfortable. some times it is like this, that widows or divorced woman's remarriage become more severe than earlier. her husband and mother-in-law taunt her on everything, every mistake, that you have killed/humiliated/eaten your ex-husband or made his life so hard. now what the hell you come to do here to us. in rare cases, their remarriages often become a comfortable zone, an example for others. I am not saying that in every first marriage she suffers from many difficulties. No! but in some cases, it happens. some women get poison to suicide or hang themselves, adopting that no one is willing to listen to us. there should be someone, who can speak on behalf of us, because if a woman feels ashamed or hesitant then she tends not to disclose her issue. there should be, but non is. some girls whose parents have died either in their childhood or in adult, daughters are often handed undertaking of paternal uncles and maternal uncles or aunties (father's sister). their uncles get them married once in a good or bad family. then if some matters arise with her and she is subjected to cruelty. No one takes notice of her talk, and become she disappointed considering an orphan. and spend his entire life with that. but some families-in-law leave her and she comes to live with her paternal/maternal parents. her aunt taunts her we are humiliated with you what did you come for. a few days later their relatives get bored and try to kick her out, and sometimes girls are targeted by their uncles and cousins, sexual harassed. girls leave relatives' houses by seeing a change in relatives' behaviours. but there is no any for them to take care of their children and her. in that case in hunger she walks out for earning slices of bread. sometimes she wonders far and far for the job but doesn't get a respectable job.
Sometimes those women get a job at a peaceful place. Sometimes women get jobs but in the wrong location where she considered a prostitute, Boss or owner of that institute or organization give her job for his sexual desire.
At some places boss harassed her, few women leave those jobs but a small number don't and bear all these forcibly and are compelled to do all this for her children. Some women couldn't get a job anywhere and become a prostitute to feed their children.
Nobody is a prostitute by birth, circumstances make her do it, poverty compels her to get into the dark. Their destiny is to become a prostitute
Male Dominant Society
Whenever a woman raises her voice, they accuse her of having an immoral character.
Women who raise their hands against male-dominant society are being warned or daunt/intimidate to take a step back. It has evolved to such an extent that nobody can challenge the decision of male Jirga. There is a misconception that women don't have leadership skills or we say that our women are oppressed and can't decide for themselves, so that is wrong, we shouldn't think that a woman is incapable of making decisions.
In 2013, women have announced the formation of the Khwendo Women'sJirga through the media against male violence with his wife. To show that we too have our Jirga one of the members told that the majority of cases they faced, have to do with the domestic violation.
"her-in-law beats her openly in the street, one day they tied her to a chair and whipped her"
it's like she has been imprisoned for the last two years.
Women went out to the old man and told him, join our Jirga they would say. "women aren't capable of running a Jirga". The tribal male elders ridiculed women and considered it as a joke, they said this drama will last a few days and that's it. The marriage of minors, rape, sexual aggression and human torture are common practices.
In 1990, Syeda Ghulam Fatima set up the bonded labour liberation front an organization that works to eradicate bonded and child labour in Pakistan over the past 27 years. Fatima estimated she has freed more than 80,000 slaves from-bonded labour.
This is a really strange concept to ensure that the slaves remain weak and can be bought and retained.
I have a story related to a girl from swat valley. That a girl is married off with a boy who later goes to Saudi Arabia for the job. The girl's father-in-law who was also her real uncle( blood relation) raped and abuses her multiple times for nine months. Her husband was working in Saudi Arabia at the time. When the girl tried to raise her voice to let relatives know of her ordeal.
The girl's mother-in-law told her husband "she humiliated you"
Kill her, she was locked in a room and stabbed with a knife 52times. She was 12 years old when she was married off.
Later on, women Jirga heard about her and brought her justice. Women Jirga got her a settlement of roughly 30-35 lac from her family-in-law.
She told that " initially my-in-laws were nice, but in the last four years, they began to change. In the last year, the beating began and I had a miscarriage. She got a divorce and had her father-in-law banished from the city.
There are quite a few cases that have a mark on one's heart and mind when you see what these young girls are put through, it makes you weep.
In the dominancy of man and violation of man, there was a movement, women become angry at the continuous attack on their rights. They were angry at the increasing harassment in the public spaces. They decided they needed a platform with a minimum program where they brought together the maximum number of voices.
On the 12th February 1983 Farida along with scores of other women carried out a historic march in Lahore. Police brutality was rife and several women were jailed for that march, but this didn't dampen their spirits and their activism. women started raising their hands against male dominant society named it "Women March" (Aurat March).
The earliest version was purportedly a "Women's Day" organized by the Socialist Party of America in New York City on February 28, 1909.
This is being celebrated every year in March by these slogans
“My body, my will”
"Why are you afraid of my self-determination?"
"Jab tak aurat tang rahay gi, jang rahay gi, jang rahay gi
"Keep your dick pics to yourself"
"If you like the headscarf so much, tie it around your eyes"
"Nazar teri gandi aur purdah mein keroun"
("Why must I wear a veil to keep you from ogling?")
The first march was held on 8 March 2018 in Karachi Pakistan.
Women marches for women's rights, violence, injustice. They protest for their lives to live free. Its often states that " a happy woman is always a lucky woman"
Lots of injustice with girls, girls are not allowed to go to school out the class five. They have to sit at home, if they have finished matric they aren't going to college. They can't study they can't work. I see this day and day out it just annoyed me that their parents are pleased to give preference to the boys and girls are looking at everybody's faces and hoping that she will get permission to do something on some days.
by Raimal Raja Kolhi
